Every year, in April, is the Depression Awareness Week. This week has just been it. And yet not one place I went showed any signs of recognising that. Why? Depression is just as real an illness as cancer, which gets a wealth of recognision and promotion for awareness and support. Why is it that mental illnesses are seen as being pretend, or less important, or whatever? Yeah, fine, people are afraid of the unknown. And yes, it is bloody hard to explain and come to terms with. But that doesn’t mean it isn’t there, and shouldn’t have the same level of support systems and everything in place. So why isn’t there? It’s really annoying me and upsetting me. It has to change. The way people view depression, and other mental illnesses has to change too.
When I was first diagnosed with depression, nearly 2 years ago, I discovered that my university had a disability services for students to offer them extra support where they may need it. I thought it was fantastic, someone that wouldn’t and didn’t judge me for my bad days - but helped. That notion swiftly left mind you, after discovering it wasn’t as great a service as I had thought, and that actually it was painfully challenging to get access to the support you were due. But all that aside, when I started university (which feels like a very long time ago now) I couldn’t even have told you it existed. My point? That it takes until you really need it, with a whole load of digging to try and find this kind of support, which even then is crap. And that’s not good enough. Education seems to educate about everything else…and I think that depression, and mental health in general too, needs to figure into that somewhere. If it did I doubt it would have taken until just 2 years ago for me to have been diagnosed. Well no, I know for a fact looking back at my life now that it wouldn’t have taken next to near that length of time.
With that in mind I am now setting about trying to find out what’s involved in setting up a social enterprise…but don’t really know how to go about doing so. I’ve contacted a few places to find out what I need to do. But I’m going to find out what I need to do and get out there and change the way things are. Get the awareness level raised and especially so in high schools and further education institutions - that’s the first run of target places for the mean time but I really want to tackle the stigma and everything attached to it. Young people with depression need to know what’s out there, I did…and still do - but it’s so hard to find anything. So I will fight the corner for every young adult in my community facing the same horrid illness I’m wrestling and try and make a change for the better. Fingers crossed.
I’m kinda feeling really frustrated overall though. I’ve applied for nearly 20 odd jobs…but still not heard back. Not getting my hopes up but it would be nice. Would bring us a bit more money into the pot and help saving for our wedding and a deposit to buy a house. No such luck this far though. On top of that my bloody medication sucks. It’s doing feck all and I’m so sick of taking tablets for nothing. Guess it’s back to the GP to see what the options are. Fun times.
Right now, as I sit here in total darkness, because the lamp remote is all the way at the other side of the room and I can’t really be bothered getting up to get it…I’m wondering what the hell is going on in my life. Honestly, I wish someone could just come along and kind of put things all back in place. That would be nice. Everything feels so upside down and I feel like I’m totally lost in a big black box. Not cool.
Insert big sigh here…